Is it love or codependency?

I've been with this guys for 3 years...it has been very rocky, he's cheated and been controlling and verbally abusive in the past but slowly and surely stopped and now it's been a good 3 months since he's had any outbursts. He truly seems to have changed and i can feel it more than just hear it now. However this whole time I've been somewhat preparing myself in the head for breaking up with him, I know this sounds weird, but it's like I kind of always figured i was just infatuated with him and once it wore off I'd leave him because he was a "bad guy". It's how i coped with the uncertainty if he was going to break up with me or not, i never really stopped to consider if i actually wanted to be with him, i just wanted him to want me so bad. Well, now he flipped the script and is actually a good decent person, but i feel compelled to be single. I've never been out of a relationship for more than a few months since i was 15, and i wonder if I'm settling for him because he's comfortable or b/c I'm in love. I'm 27 and i feel like if i don't do it soon, I'm going to waste my life, but what if I'm throwing away years of hard work and dedication to someone just as it gets good, just as it could really be a great relationship? I feel like i can't wait any longer b/c i have a opportunity to get out and once it shuts it will be much more difficult for me to move out. I've talked to him and told him my feelings and at first he was very upset and begged me to stay, now it's like he's distancing himself from me again and i hate that b/c i realize he's become my best friend. I don't know what to do, it's like one moment i want to be free and independent and experience life by myself for a while, have my own apartment, meet new people, date, travel, ect... and then the next moment I think that there's nothing that makes me happier than sitting at home laughing with him...what is going on? anybody gone through this?