"It's only ual harment if the women is not attracted to the man, other wise you consider it flattery."?

Harment in itself is how a person internalizes someone elses behavior. Two people can say the exact same thing and your reaction could be totally different. I believe the quote. If a charming man comments on how nice you look, it's flattery. If an overweight sloppy oaf does it people fail to be flattered.